Sunday, March 21, 2010

Caught in a Clomid Haze...

Hello ICLW'ers! This being my first go-round on ICLW, I had a brainfart and thought it didn't start until Monday. I was planning on crafting a clever and absorbing story today to post tomorrow, but oh well - let's go with the flow. As with everything else in my life these days, I blame it on Clomid. (I'm currently on my second cycle of it, with our first IUI scheduled sometime late next week - whee!)

Clomid has become my new go-to excuse for everything that is going wrong with me. My first round of Clomid last month was so easy - no mood swings, some interesting ovary sensations, and a slightly elevated BBT - I was kind of worried it wasn't working.

Not this month though! I'm in a good enough mood at the moment to gleefully tell you that I have been bitchy, irritable, depressed, and so prone to tears that I might as well change my handle to Crying McWeepy.

It's driving Mr. Stick completely bananas, as he has been overwhelmed by a work project that is making him pretty prickly himself. We've had a couple of the stupidest fights you have ever heard of - arguments over me watching SVU while he's trying to wrap up work, arguments over the cat peeing outside her litterbox, arguments whose cause I can't even remember now - usually culminating in my dissolving into a puddle of tears while my husband wonders where on earth his usually rational and chipper wife went.

To compound the issue, Clomid is really messing with my sleep. I get ridiculously hot under the covers, tossing and turning constantly, and the crazy-whacked-out dreams have me waking up in the middle of the night going "Wha?" Some highlights:
  • I am a dance teacher in a third world country having a will-they or won't-they moment with a guy that looks like the choir teacher from "Glee"
  • There is a pregnancy test mixup in my house ala "Ugly Betty" between me...and my 18-year-old daughter. Turns out we are both pregnant (this is both disturbing and hopeful to me).
Of course, the big fear underlying all of this is - what if this isn't Clomid?" What if this is really me, and I've just finally become worn down by all the infertility crap? And if it is Clomid, how am I going to deal with this for the next few months? And if it isn't Clomid, how am I going to deal with this for the rest of my life?

I am such a drama queen. Ugh. Time to go bury myself in chocolate...

9 comments:

  1. Though I know they're disturbing, your dreams made me laugh. I am well-known for having very vivid and deeply disturbing/wacko dreams all the time, so I totally understand. But it really sounds like clomid symptoms to me, so just endure it for a few more days and then hopefully you can get back to your normal self. Not that we ever really feel like our normal selves while dealing with infertility, but some days are more normal than others, for sure!

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  2. Clomid and hormones are both known for messing with your dreams...and chocolate is a wonderful cure-all. Good luck with this cycle.

    ~ICLW #31

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  3. I am sooooo glad you found me! Your laughs make me giggle even though they're not too funny to you I'm sure. I really hope you keep updating because I'm looking forward to following what's happening!!!

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  4. that WAS supposed to say your DREAMS make me giggle... I've been up too long!

    Also, I start the 'mid tomorrow for the first time ever. What time of day do you take yours? I was thinking bedtime to try to get away from some of the side effects... any input?

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  5. Love the dreams. :) I'm so sorry you have to deal with them, though! Good luck!!

    Tammy
    ICLW #103

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  6. I love your fortune cookie! And I can't imagine having a bunch of trying-NOT-to conceive charts laying around. Ugh!!! Great blog, I'll be back!

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  7. p.s. Glad to find a fellow "Tap" fan! he he.

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  8. I blamed Clomid for all my crazy behavior too. Your dreams cracked me up. :)

    Happy ICLW #28

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